the dam, lol o laughed when i got this.

[Marishka]

An elderly man in Queensland had owned a large property for several years.
 

He had a dam in the next paddock, fixed up nice - picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees.
The dam was properly shaped and set up for swimming when it was built.
 
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the dam, as he hadn't been there for a while, to look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
 
As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his Dam.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam naked.
 

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
 
Moral: Old men might walk slow, but they can still think fast


im46 im old man. hehe

[obsession]

lol

[BlackBedford]

G'day

An old saying...
Age and cunning overcome youth and skill, every time.

[BusyKiwi]

Old age is not a hindrance to men chasing women; they just have trouble remembering why

[hotrod]

heres another one for the "guys"

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.  Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.



I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least the girl knows I'm smarter than her.

[eddy]

wooo hoooo 

[Marishka]

lol, hahahahahahahahaha.
that was a beauty hotrod,
mate u probebly wont get laid for months now, lol
priceless, hahahahahaha,
marty