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Author Topic: joke (i thought it was funny)  (Read 10856 times)

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Offline BlackBedford

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A Ghost story
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2012, 12:22:47 PM »
Two blokes staggered out of the pub after a long night of drinking, climbed into their van and started it up.
They took off at speed, fishtailing and leaving skid marks all over the road.
After a couple of minutes of traveling , an old man appeared in the passenger window and tapped lightly.
The passenger screamed, "Look at the window. There's an old ghost's face there!"
The driver sped up, but the old man's face stayed in the window.
The passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?"
The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"
The passenger handed the old man a cigarette and yelled, "Step on it," to the driver, rolling up the window in terror.
A few minutes later they calmed down and started laughing again.
The driver said, "I don't know what happened, but don't worry; the speedo says we're doing 80 now."
All of a sudden there was a light tapping on the window and the old man reappeared.
"There he is again," the passenger yelled.
He rolled down the window and shakily said, "Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asked.
The passenger threw a lighter out the window saying, "Step on it!"
They were driving about 100 k's an hour, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden there came some more tapping.
"Oh my God! He's back!" The passenger rolled down the window and screamed in stark terror, "WHAT NOW?"
The old man gently replied, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
« Last Edit: April 25, 2012, 02:08:04 PM by BlackBedford »
The problem I have is that most of my stories end with... and that is why I am not allowed to go back there!

Offline restoreid

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #21 on: April 25, 2012, 01:04:58 PM »
HaHa love it Thats gold
If you want a job done right DO it yourself

Offline BlackBedford

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #22 on: April 25, 2012, 02:09:29 PM »
Chris was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary again. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Chris has been missing since Friday.
The problem I have is that most of my stories end with... and that is why I am not allowed to go back there!

Offline restoreid

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #23 on: April 25, 2012, 04:24:47 PM »
Love it
If you want a job done right DO it yourself

Offline Marishka

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #24 on: April 25, 2012, 04:35:08 PM »
lol, so did you run from 0 to 200 in under 6 seconds Chris? lol :D :D :D :D

Offline Banksx2

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #25 on: April 25, 2012, 05:36:13 PM »
Bloke's missus reckons he wasn't really cutting it in the bedroom any more so she sent him to the chemist to get some of those pills that make a man really ready for it.

He came back and presented her with a box of diet pills.

He never heard the shot.

 ;D
It's not how hard you hit it - it's how you hit it hard

Offline Marishka

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #26 on: April 25, 2012, 05:53:58 PM »
hahaha :D

Offline tiwaz_nz

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2012, 07:43:51 PM »
i walk into a bar , theres a really drunk fat chick dancing on a table
as i walk past i say 'amazing legs' .
she looks at me and responds 'you really think? '
i look back at her and say ' yeah any other table would have broke by now '  ;D  ;D  ;D  ::)  ::)  ::)

Offline Marishka

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2012, 08:24:43 PM »
lol,  :D

Offline obsession

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Re: joke (i thought it was funny)
« Reply #29 on: April 25, 2012, 09:18:00 PM »
pmsl  :D ;D ;D
ur a bedford owner ....adapt overcome work it out

 

anything
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